– Master, how do I become a good actor?

Master: By being a bad one.

At a New Year’s party, a sober, motivated American actor approaches a famous Russian acting teacher.

Actor: Can you explain Stanislavsky’s system please?

Teacher: What do you hold in your hand?

Actor: A glass of champagne.

Teacher: Drink it then.

Teacher to student: did you memorize your monologue?

Student: Yes, I did.

Teacher: Then forget it.

A young actor came to visit an old-school actor. “Last night I was very embarrassed; I couldn’t cry in my scene in spite of focusing on all my traumas.”

“I need your help in the kitchen,” said the old actor. He pointed to a sharp knife and a fresh onion: “Please cut it.”

As the young actor started cutting the onion, big tears rolled down his face.

Teacher: Did you understand Hamlet’s objective?

Student: Yes, I worked on all his motivations, actions, subtext, and I know his objective.

Teacher: Good. Now you are ready to throw it away.

A young actor was waiting to cross the street when he suddenly saw an old great actor standing next to him. He seized the moment and asked: “Dear Sir, how do you transform into your characters?”

The old great actor calmly pointed to the cross-light: “Let’s cross the street.”